50th Year of Becoming: How I Found Power in My Own Becoming
Turning 50 is a milestone, but for me, it’s also a celebration. A joyful mirror reflecting the woman I’ve become and the many versions of me that carried me here.
I call this my 50th Year of Becoming because thriving didn’t happen overnight. It was layered, messy, magical, and anchored by what I now call the S.S.C.S.™ Framework: the Self Soothing Creative Steps - Support, Self-Love, Spirituality, and Security.
Before it had a name, it was my lifeline.
Support: The Courage to Be Seen and Held
In the aftermath of domestic abuse, I didn’t have a roadmap, I had mayhem. But I also had something else: the brave, beautiful presence of others.
Charitable organisations like Woman’s Trust, Advance, my nearest and dearest Tamika and Bella Bell’s aka Camry Love, my chosen kin of women (and a few incredible men) held space for me. Not just space to survive, but to create the life I want to live and love.
Their support whispered: You matter.
You are not broken.
We see you.
And today, at 50, I celebrate the joy of being seen, held, and uplifted.
Self-Love: Creating as a Radical Act
I didn’t know I was an artist. Not formally. I was just a woman with a tray of paints, a tangle of emotion, and a desperate need to express. Every brushstroke became an act of defiance and tenderness, especially the ones I thought were “mistakes.” Ironically, those pieces became the most beloved.
Self-taught and self-led, I painted not to impress, but to heal.
Each moment I chose to show up for my creativity, without shame, was a reclaiming. It was self-love. A fierce, forgiving, unfiltered self-love that said: You are worthy of beauty, even now. Especially now.
And today, I celebrate that what began as survival has blossomed into joy and thriving through creativity.
Spirituality: Breath, Stillness, and Becoming
In silence, I began to listen again.
To my breath.
To my bones.
To the Divine.
Meditation. Yoga. Pilates, listening to my inner-voice and speaking to my inner-child, all became portals back to myself. They helped me anchor when the world spun fast. They reminded me of the sacredness in slowing down, in trusting what cannot be seen but deeply felt.
Spirituality wasn’t about grand gestures, it was about everyday grace.
And now, it’s also about everyday joy, choosing to thrive with intention, not just survive with effort.
Security: From Insecurity to Inner Knowing
For a long time, I searched for safety outside myself. In people, the need for control and perfectionism. But slowly, through the SSCS steps, I let go of insecurities and began building inner security. Not the absence of fear, but the presence of trust.
Today, I honour all of how I am.
Even the shaky bits.
Even the days that don’t glitter.
I don’t need to be perfect. I just need to be present, to myself, my story, and my becoming.
And at 50, I can also celebrate the joy of living with inner clarity and thriving trust.
From Womb to Wisdom: What I Hope My Children See
As a mother, one of the hardest truths I’ve had to sit with is this: I once modelled staying in an abusive relationship.
But now, I model something new.
I model leaving.
I model thriving.
I model becoming.
My “Womb Gems,” my children, witnessed my pain, even at the expense of their own comfort, with the disruption of what they once felt was their security. At first, they were angry with me for the changes they couldn’t yet understand. But now, they also witness my power. And through that, I pray they learn that we are not destined to repeat cycles but that we are invited to rise from them.
Why This Matters at 50
I’m celebrating 50 with gratitude, joy, and thriving.
Surviving was just the beginning, living, creating, and leading with joy is the true celebration.
This isn’t just a birthday. It’s a birthright reclamation.
A reminder that becoming, and thriving, are not bound by age, but awakened by intention.
And so I invite you, whether you’re 25 or 65, to take your own self-soothing creative steps.
To begin where you are.
To honour what you hold.
To become, and to thrive, in what you’ve always been becoming.
Download the free SSCS™ Starter One-Pager here.
To my sisters learning about themselves in their 50s and beyond, this celebration is for you too.
➡️ Share your own reflections in the comments:
✨ What has your 50s (or the years leading up to them) taught you about yourself?
With love and light, infinitely ✨
Let Art Be Your Becoming