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What is Domestic Abuse

 Any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are or have been intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality.
This mean that domestic abuse does not have to be physical, that it can happen in any family regardless of  sexual orientation,  academic standing, class, religion, community or country or whether the someone has a disability.
In Need of Help?
In an emergency call 999.
If you or a friend need support, contact the 24hr Freephone National Domestic Abuse help on: 
0808 2000 247 | nationaldahelpline.org.uk

FORMS OF DOMESTIC ABUSE.

Domestic Abuse is but not limited to:
  • Psychological
  • Physical 
  • Sexual
  • Financial
  • Emotional

COERCIVE CONTROL

WHEN NO ONE CAN SEE WHAT YOU FEEL

 Art: Amja Unabashedly

Coercive Control is defined as: an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used by the abuser to harm, punish, or frighten their victim.
Have you ever been in a family gathering when everyone seems to be having fun, you spent your time putting yourself together so you know you look good and people are commenting on how well you look and how they love the way you have arranged your living room and yet you feel unsettled because earlier on in the day, before all the guests arrived you and your partner have had an argument and the "You wait!" has been said and you are scared because  "You wait" could mean a number of things that could hurt you. For the remainder of the day and into the evening, every now and then, your partner looks at you in that way that only you know what it means.
If you can say yes to some or all of the feelings explained, then you have experienced coercive control and have or are being domestically abused.
This is just one example of what coercive control can feel like and it is now a criminal offence, because more and more people are speaking their story of abuse and highlighting that domestic abuse does not always have to be directly physical.

"IN THE UK, COERCIVE CONTROL WAS MADE A CRIMINAL OFFENCE IN DECEMBER 2015"

Parental Alienation
Parental Alienation
Parental Alienation is a tactic used by a perpetrator of domestic abuse. It is a means of breaking down the target of abuse by using children as a weapon; weaponising a child (rens) pain during and following a family breakdown.

Parental Alienation is a form of child abuse because the perpetrator is psychologically abusing a child, manipulating their thoughts about the other parent and depriving a child's basic right of parental contact.

In Need of Help?
In an emergency call 999.

If you need support contact the 24hr Freephone National Domestic Abuse help on:
0808 2000 247 | nationaldahelpline.org.uk

HONOUR BASED VIOLENCE, FGM AND FORCED MARRIAGE 

The definition of Domestic Abuse, which is not a legal definition,  includes ‘honour’ based violence, female genital mutilation (FGM) and forced marriage

CONTROLLING BEHAVIOUR

Controlling behaviours are:
  • Subordination
  • Isolation
  • Exploitation
  • Deprivation
  • Regulation

 

 

 

 

In some instances the perpetrator can use isolation as way of controlling you. This can be done by trying to limit the contact you have with friends and family. And it doesn't have to be overtly done.

It can happen slowly over of a period of years. The abuser finds ways to make you feel that your friends and family members are a bad influence on you by suggesting that they are not good people, make comments about them or make the environment very uncomfortable when those friends and family are around, and eventually you are rarely or are no longer in contact with them and have nowhere to go when you need support.

 

Isolation

Trophy Wife

 

In some instances the perpetrator can use isolation as way of controlling you. This can be done by trying to limit the contact you have with friends and family, and it doesn't have to be overtly done. It can happen slowly over of a period of years.

The abuser finds ways to make you feel that your friends and family members are a bad influence on you by suggesting that they are not good people, make comments about them or make the environment very uncomfortable when those friends and family are around, and eventually you, are rarely or are no longer in contact with them and have nowhere to go when you need support.

 

Gaslighting

Gaslighting

 

Another way the abuser can isolate you is by "Gaslighting". Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic in which a person gains power and control by planting seeds of uncertainty in the victim. In other words saying things that make you doubt yourself. The self-doubt and constant skepticism slowly and meticulously cause you to question your reality, until you start questioning your sanity.
An abuser will also gaslight your family and friends, people who would normally support you so that again, the relationship with those who would have supported you, start judging you and eventually the relationship(s) between you and them breakdown.