What is Domestic Abuse

Any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are or have been intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality.
This mean that domestic abuse does not have to be physical, that it can happen in any family regardless of  sexual orientation,  academic standing, class, religion, community or country or whether someone has a disability.
In Need of Help?
In an emergency call 999.
If you or a friend need support, contact the 24hr Freephone National Domestic Abuse help on: 
0808 2000 247 | nationaldahelpline.org.uk

FORMS OF DOMESTIC ABUSE

Domestic Abuse is but not limited to:
  • Psychological
  • Physical 
  • Sexual
  • Financial
  • Emotional

COERCIVE CONTROL

WHEN NO ONE CAN SEE WHAT YOU FEEL.

 Art: Amja Unabashedly 

Coercive Control is defined as: an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used by the abuser to harm, punish, or frighten their victim.

Have you ever been in a family gathering when everyone seems to be having fun, you spent your time putting yourself together so you know you look good and people are commenting on how well you look and how they love the way you have arranged your living room and yet you feel unsettled because earlier on in the day, before all the guests arrived you and your partner have had an argument and the "You wait!" has been said and you are scared because  "You wait" could mean a number of things that could hurt you. For the remainder of the day and into the evening, every now and then, your partner looks at you in that way that only you know what it means.

If you can say yes to some or all of the feelings explained, then you have experienced coercive control and have or are being domestically abused.

This is just one example of what coercive control can feel like and it is now a criminal offence, because more and more people are speaking their story of abuse and highlighting that domestic abuse does not always have to be directly physical.

"IN THE UK, COERCIVE CONTROL WAS MADE A CRIMINAL OFFENCE IN DECEMBER 2015"

Parental Alienation

Parental Alienation
Art: Amja Unabashedly 

Parental Alienation is a tactic used by a perpetrator of domestic abuse. It is a means of breaking down the target of abuse by using children as a weapon; weaponising a child (rens) pain during and following a family breakdown.

Parental Alienation is a form of child abuse because the perpetrator is psychologically abusing a child, manipulating their thoughts about the other parent and depriving a child's basic right of parental contact.


In Need of Help?
In an emergency call 999.

If you need support contact the 24hr Freephone National Domestic Abuse help on:
0808 2000 247 | nationaldahelpline.org.uk

HONOUR BASED VIOLENCE, FGM AND FORCED MARRIAGE 

The definition of Domestic Abuse, which is not a legal definition,  includes ‘honour’ based violence, female genital mutilation (FGM) and forced marriage

CONTROLLING BEHAVIOUR

Controlling behaviours are:
  • Subordination
  • Isolation
  • Exploitation
  • Deprivation
  • Regulation

 

 Art: Amja Unabashedly 

Isolation

Art: Amja Unabashedly 

In some instances the perpetrator can use isolation as way of controlling you. This can be done by trying to limit the contact you have with friends and family. And it doesn't have to be overtly done.

It can happen slowly over of a period of years. The abuser finds ways to make you feel that your friends and family members are a bad influence on you by suggesting that they are not good people, make comments about them or make the environment very uncomfortable when those friends and family are around, and eventually you are rarely or are no longer in contact with them and have nowhere to go when you need support.

 

Gaslighting

Gaslighting 

Art: Amja Unabashedly 

Another way the abuser can isolate you is by "Gaslighting". Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic in which a person gains power and control by planting seeds of uncertainty in the victim. In other words saying things that make you doubt yourself. The self-doubt and constant skepticism slowly and meticulously cause you to question your reality, until you start questioning your sanity.

An abuser will also gaslight your family and friends, people who would normally support you so that again, the relationship with those who would have supported you, start judging you and eventually the relationship(s) between you and them breakdown.

 

I help organisations align what they say with what they do.

Most organisations have written their values into policy and strategy, but when those values meet culture, power dynamics and competing priorities, something often falls out of alignment.

That gap between intention and lived experience is where I work.

Ways to Work Together

  • Narrative Alignment Strategy Session™

    A structured exploration of where intention, language and lived experience fall out of alignment.

    Narrative Alignment 

  • Speaking Engagements

    Keynotes, panels and conversations that help organisations think differently about culture, leadership and change.

    Speaking 

  • Facilitation & Art-led Spaces

    Creative and reflective spaces designed to support dialogue, learning and organisational insight.

    Facilitation and Art-Led 

How I Work

My consultancy draws on the Cypher Translational Framework™ , SSCS™, HAA™ and the Unabashed Narrative Pillars™. These frameworks operate behind the work, helping organisations translate intention into practice without blame, extraction or performative change.

Request Consultancy Proposal

Before we talk, take four to five minutes to see where you are.

The gap between what your organisation says it is and what people experience inside it rarely announces itself. It accumulates, in the conversations that keep not quite happening, the talent that quietly pulls back, or the leader who cannot name what feels wrong, only that something does.

This short reflection helps you locate that gap before we name it together.

No disclosure required. No right or wrong answers. Just clarity, before the conversation begins.

Take the Narrative Alignment Reflection

Yes. Community-rooted workshops and creative facilitation are delivered through Let Art Be Your Becoming™ — a separate nonprofit organisation within the wider ecosystem, founded on the same principles.

Let Art Be Your Becoming™ offers flexible pricing for charities, CICs, grassroots organisations, and councils working with women, young people, or communities navigating systemic inequity.

To co-create an offering tailored to your goals, get in touch directly:

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